Going Home...

At the end of "The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe" the Pevensie children grow up to be great Kings and Queens after their adventures with Aslan, only to find themselves back in the real world after stumbling across the old lamp post that once brought them to the magical land of Narnia. Even though they have lived a lifetime, nothing has changed since Lucy first stepped through the wardrobe. Australia it seems is my Narnia. I've done a million and one things, grown personally and then some but back in London things haven't changed. I almost felt as though I was bragging unnecessarily when I told friends what I was doing with my life now, as if I was Edmund describing to a row of confused faces, how I slayed a White Witch and befriended a talking Lion.

It's only been two days and I can't quite process how I feel to be back yet, it's been ridiculously familiar but strangely divorced at the same time. Certain elements of my life here have either changed or feel redundant, whether it be my old bedroom or favourite cafe, banter between particular friends and so forth. There's certainly a small amount of personal grieving that comes with the fact nostalgia is the only thing that has kept certain experiences alive.

Thankfully, certain friends have never waivered, their faces beam like giant lighthouses guiding me back safely to what was so great about my life here. These are the people I have longed to spend even just five meager minutes with while I was in Australia. Their news - comforting, their friendship - easy.

So here I am, back in London after two and half years. Right now, and without sounding too new age, I feel as though 'my journey' isn't complete yet. I'm not ready to come home, if I can help it. New York is the definitely the next destination, I just need to secure that opportunity and it will happen. I'm ready for it. If I did have to return to the UK, it wouldn't be so terrible, it would just be harder as I'd have to make a conscious effort to move myself on and not slip back into routine. I've achieved so much since breaking away from my old life, so it would frustrating if I let it take over once more.

Like Edmund and Lucy, I'd like to ensure I have a few more trips back before I have to grow up and settle back home once more.

This Year I...

... became permanent ... created a laughing buddha ... began looking after Glinda and Elphaba ... moved to the most famous beach in the world ... broke both my hands on a date ... got osteoporosis ... had my mum fly 10,000 miles to nurse me ... caught up with some old friends of Jerry ... hit a top C ... watched John Bucchino tinkle the ivories ... got a lawyer ... had physio ... made friends with Brazil and Adelaide ... saw Patti coming up roses ... chipped a tooth on a creme brulee ... was moved to tears by a singing bipolar grieving mother ... saw old friends in the Big Apple ... celebrated my first Thanksgiving ... experienced 30 mins of New York ice hockey ... hung out at Hollywood star's home in LA ... flew with Jack Bauer ... met a boy.

Stephen Fry's Best Bits...

ON HIS COMEDY PARTNER HUGH LAURIE IN "HOUSE"
One of the hardest things to do is act smart. But you actually believe that he is intelligent (2006)

ASKED BY HIS SCHOOL CAREERS OFFICER WHAT JOB HE ENVISAGED FOR HIMSELF
School Careers Officer (1973)

ON TECHNOLOGY
I have never had fewer than 10 working Macs on the go since the late 80s (2007)

TO AN INTERVIEWER ON TV-AM
Not wishing – in any way – to correct you, but it is pronounced Worcester, not Wooster… in the same way that it's Woodhouse not Wodehouse (1992)

ON LIVING IN SWAFFHAM IN NORFOLK
You see it all. You see your hoody pikey chavvies, you see your happy-slapping. But it's leavened by a bit of fluffy Englishness and damp tweed. It's just what it should be (2007)

ON CONVERSATION AT CRICKET MATCHES
You don't get people going round saying: "Did it work for you?" and "It seems to me there's a sense in which…", like those awful scum on late-night BBC2 shows (1999)

ON TECHNICAL PROBLEMS
My life is a shattered bowl of arse (2009)

HOSTING A CHARITY EVENT
As the Archbishop of Canterbury likes to say: "That's enough tedious wank. Let's party!" (1991)

ON PHYSICAL CONGRESS
Sex does not enrich or deepen a relationship – it permanently cheapens and destabilises it (1985)

15 YEARS BEFORE "STEPHEN FRY ON AMERICA"
I get terribly depressed with the English obsession with America. These wasted little people with their baseball hats, who usually live in Newport Pagnell, who say: "Did you watch the Bears game yesterday?" Oh go away, go and live there, for God's sake (1992)

ON HIS DEMEANOUR
I have a smug air that I've done everything short of cutting my face open to try and get rid of (2009)

ON WEIGHT GAIN
I am currently developing myself for digital widescreen (1999)

AFTER BEING TOLD, BY ONE OF ALMOST ONE MILLION FOLLOWERS, THAT HIS TWEETS WERE "A BIT BORING"
You've convinced me. I'm obviously not good enough. I retire from Twitter. Bye everyone (2009)

HOSTING "QI"
Welcome to QI, the show that rhymes with Stephen Fry (2006)

Taken from The Observer article by John Hind, 8 November 2009

Nobel Gestures...

Lest we forget, 10 months ago one man gave America and the rest of the world included, the hope it needed to convince themselves that 'hope' was possible in times of a global crisis. A global crisis we are still enduring and fighting to overcome. For a period of time, we acknowledged this significant moment in history for what it was and gave it the attention it rightly deserved, attention usually reserved for Angelina Jolie's children or Lindsay Lohan's rehab exploits. America recognised to move on. The nation needed to change its future, its attitude and President Elect Obama was to be this symbol of inspiration. In a frank and anticipated moment before Election Day, people were worried this time in their bruised and battered history would never happen, that another inept, uncharismatic Republican would be elected again and all hopes would be dashed in finally electing someone of true revolutionary value. But the totally unthinkable actually came true. Obama was finally voted into office. A "Goddam black man" as a bemused Texan plantation owner would say, became the most powerful man in the western world.

America needed this to happen. Hell, the whole world needed Obama. So we looked up too. That's right, we took noticed of American politics in a way we never had before and he engaged us with his eloquence and promised with staid humility he would do his best to make his country great again and give his nation the respect from the rest of the world once more. For the first time, cynics were subdued for a little while as we allowed ourselves to be carried by the swell.

But only for a little while.

What is interesting about this week's announcement that President Obama is to be this year's recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize, is the fact he himself has been first up to the block to express his complete surprise of being nominated and recognise he has yet to fulfill such a legacy worthy of such a distinguished prize. Despite Obama's seemingly lack of credentials, I congratulate him on receiving the Nobel Peace Prize. No, he has not created schools in desolate areas of a third world country or championed civil rights in a part of the world with an oppressive regime. He has yet to fulfill his legacy and like the rest of the world, I hope he lives up to his promise. Obama has done what anyone in his position would do, he has taken the accolade with humility and vowed to do his best to live up to it. Yes, we should be questioning the decisions of Nobel jury, bestowing a prize of this nature puts enormous pressure on him to succeed and is somewhat preemptive. I imagine Republicans are smacking their hands together in glee and anticipation to see "the Great Obama" being set up once again for an even greater fall from grace. It gives the opposition the opportunity to attack and pour criticism over Obama's lack of achievements since he entered the White House. To me, this makes as much sense as attacking Sean Pean for winning Best Actor last year and not the Academy who voted for him.

I worry about the danger of, dare I use the word 'mankind's pessimism'. For us to be united and overcome issues like the global recession or nuclear weapons development, we have to change our mindset and we have to work together. I realise this is an idealistic notion to demand from the cynical selfish world we live in, but past history shows us we are capable of achieving great things in times of crisis if forces work in unison. Is it necessary we have to endure another 9/11 or plunge into further economic crisis for us to be able to do this? Do we really have to perpetuate politician's skepticism so they can prove a point and live up to the reputation of being all rhetoric and no substance or do we allow ourselves to give into something greater? Unfortunately, I have no grand answers to this but I do feel it's important to at least, in some small way, stand up and say "I'm with you, I support what you're doing". I am grateful and have huge admiration for the one man who has managed to get me more politicised and more interested in government than any other politician I've known in my lifetime. I'm probably not the only one who has been influenced by President Obama in this small but important way either. We live in an apathetic world. Where more people vote for the X Factor than in their local elections. We have either been jaded by far too much rhetoric in the past or have grown up simply not caring anymore. But now we have a potential new generation who are inspired again by politics. Now to be able to do that especially for Gen Y, well, that does needs rewarding.

Who Are These People Bill?...

Watch this video for the launch of Windows 7. Actually, you won't watch all of it as you will be left dumbstruck within the first minute.



Who are these people? Are they actually suggesting I host a party to launch a Windows programme? Are they that desperate for people to use this new system they have to hire actors to pretend this is normal behaviour? I'd like to remind Microsoft of the Apple advertising campaigns. Did they honestly think these ads would surpass them somehow? As you can see by the number of question marks used in my first paragraph alone, it has baffled me completely how an ad campaign like this could ever be approved. Actually, scrub that thought, having worked in the industry for far too long, I should know better. There is probably more to write about this hilarious travesty but I will leave you to absorb its great banality for now.

Consumer Advice...

Fantastic. Charlie Brooker has just described Transformers 2 as:

"being pinned to the ground while an angry dishwasher shat in your face for two hours."

I never tire of this man's adept use of words. Genius in a pent up ball of journalistic frustration. More from the "miserable writerist" can be found here.

Funny Guy...

This man goes on my BFM list. A list I've not talked about in a while actually, in fact I think I skipped a whole year as I compiled my list back in 2007. Probably because my enthusiasm for the male variety of the species has waned over the years. Someone really has to 'knock my socks off' you know, they really do.

Sorry, I digress. This is Seth MacFarlane.

You'd probably recognise his voice more than his face. As he is the creator of Family Guy. Also the writer, producer and the voice of Peter, Stewie, Brian and Quagmire . He is also the creator of American Dad, The Cleveland Show and is the highest paid producer in television. He's at that level of ridiculously, talented, rich, smart and funny that makes your arsehole quiver with jealousy.

So Seth qualifies. And if I lived in LA, I'd be trying to casually brush past him in Starbucks or something. I can hear the school girl mutterings and the suppressed laughter of those who are thinking "Fancying a multi-millionaire now that's an original one". Work with me here people. It's my online fantasy list who else am I meant to be putting on here?

So what does my 2009 BFM LIST look like now?

DANIEL BOYS - ACTOR.
Musical Theatre performer and current star of Avenue Q in the West End. An incredibly successful career since losing 'Any Dream Will Do' and has even done a duet with John Barrowman singing 'I Know Him So Well'. He's also the only one on my list I've actually met. Three times. All occasions slightly awkward. And of which all portrayed me as slightly weird.

STEPHEN OREMUS - MUSICAL ARRANGER / DIRECTOR.
Another Theatre Type. A highly respected man who has worked on Wicked, Avenue Q and most recently 9 to 5: The Musical. Has also worked with the likes of Rufus Wainwright on his Judy Garland tribute at the London Palladium. Looks great from behind holding a baton too.

STEVE GROVE - HEAD OF NEWS & POLITICS FOR YOUTUBE.
Came to my attention during the 2008/2009 Election Campaign in America with his insights and commentary on Citizentube. Even took the time to reply to my Facebook message. Also has eyes you could drown in and gives me hope brains and beauty is actually possible in a man. I have an odd feeling though he probably has a girlfriend called something irritatingly cliched like 'Mandy' or 'Cassie'.

MARK RUFFALO - ACTOR.
First noticed him in 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind' then really fell for the bearded one in 'We Don't Live Here Anymore'. Tends to be cast as the long suffering boyfriend type in his more mainstream movies when he's not doing the more interesting stuff like 'In the Cut' and 'Zodiac'. Which is more than fine by me.

AARON SORKIN - SCREENWRITER.
The man behind 'The West Wing'. Need I say more. He is a genius amongst men. I would have his babies if I could learn how to write just a fraction of what he's capable of. Plus he once dated Kristen Chenoweth, so he obviously likes short people who sing loudly.

SETH MACFARLANE - TV PRODUCER/WRITER/ACTOR.
Creator of 'Family Guy' and all round creative genius with the same twisted warped, controversial sense of humour as myself. A man who can make me laugh goes a long way. Well enough about Seth. I've dedicated this entry to him which is far too much fawning for one day.

If I think of anymore I'll just update this entry. Still musing if Hugh Jackman should go on there or not again. Right, back to the real world and the plethora of men who wait at my door. Why do I suddenly feel like Mr Banks about to interview nannies in Mary Poppins just then?